Needles, X-rays and Hospitals by Officer Chris Beltz
As y'all remember the question was do I drive myself to the hospital ? Or request a bus ?
Well got "Alle" loaded an off we go !! Called my Dispatcher an told her I was headed to ER an notify Boss an let him know .
She asked what's wrong I told believe I broke my leg . She then became very excited an started asking questions , you OK ? You need an ambulance ? Nope all good just tell Boss to meet me at ER .
Now don't know if y'all have ever tried driving with a broken ankle an leg on the right side , but things are kinda different for sure . Damn leg gets in the way so what to do ? Ahhh Haa ! Improvise Adapt an Overcome !!
Took the right leg an pulled it in between the driver's seat and center seat in pickup an gave it a few kicks with left heel to make sure it stays there ! An on the road we go !!
Well being the dutiful husband I called my loving wife an asked her to meet me at the ER . To which her reply was " What The Hell You done now ?" My reply was think I broke my leg . Wife's reply Ok dumbass see you there !
Well we roll up to the ER door at the hospital and out comes a nurse I pop the door open an go to get out "remember someone saying they wedged a leg in between the seats ? Well yep it still wedged hehe " so go to get out forgot having my leg wedged in between the seats so now I'm laying half in half out of my pickup trying to do pushups to get my leg loose ! Finally success !! I'm free !! So start hopping in to the ER nurse standing there in disbelief and I'm about 10 feet from ER bed and nurse said Damn !! Wait a minute your supposed to be in a wheelchair ! So freeze tag I'm it and she's off an running to grab a wheelchair ! She got one I sit down an she wheels me 5 feet . Then she says we going to get your boot off an see what kinda damage you've done !! So she grabs a pair of scissors and I'm like now wait a minute only had these boots 2 weeks y'all ain't cutting them off !!! I told her to pull the laces out stand across the room an cover her ears ! She did as I asked and after a couple trys and multiple cuss words my boot was laying on the floor . Well nurse looks at me looks at my foot hanging backwards and states "I believe your ankle is broken ! Does it hurt ? " You think ? Maybe hurts just a little bit not bad I can live with it . Then she proceeds to check vitals an all the good stuff . In comes the Dr. He's like I believe it's broken but we won't know for sure until we X-ray it .
Then tells the nurse get him a shot of morphine for the pain . Now wait a minute Doc ! I don't like needles well that's putting it lightly I HATE HATE HATE needles the sight of one makes me light headed an damn near pass out . So no Doc no needles !! None what so ever !!! Doc is like are you sure YEP 150% POSITIVE !! I'll survive well I survived no needles no pain medication made it to X-ray an they found not only my ankle but also lower right leg plus knee all shot to Hell ! So they splint me up an say it's time for an ambulance ride to a bigger hospital ! Gonna need surgery ! Wait a minute Doc do I gotta ride in the ambulance ?? Wife can take . Nope Ambulance only he says ! How about if Boss takes me ? Nope Ambulance only ! Damnit Doc I ain't riding in the ambulance so if Boss don't take me I ain't going !! Period end of report !! Well after 20 minutes of arguing Doc figured might as well let Boss take me but not leaving without a shot of morphine first ! Damnit Doc !! Ain't gonna happen and it didn't ! Hehe , well to make a long story short had a 90 mile trip to the hospital that I was being transferred to and with Boss driving wife riding shotgun an me in the backseat we smoked those 90 miles in about 50 mins !! Hehehe
Gonna leave y'all hanging right there for a bit an finish up on damage report and rehab in our next BLOGH
Till then Y'all
Be Safe Stay Frosty
Beltz an "Kleio"